Score: 10

"Interesting break from the usual serious dramas..."

submission: LARRY episode 1

date: November 21, 2009

From Paladin to the Composer, I've always thought of you as a dramatic flash artist. And it's quite interesting to see you break away from the seriousness and experiment with something very unique.

So you've decided to trash the "noble" hero tradition and give rise to a tiny, but brutal little monster. Well done. And you've even done the excellent "show, but don't tell." For example, from the first episode you've already demonstrated the stats of the little kid - his offense and defense. The kid is excessively brutal and brave, as he beat the crap out of and maimed the herald so he has superb offensive skills such as power and speed. And he got knocked bloody by a slam of a door (although it may be for comical effects), he has a weak overall defense, health, and stamina (and the fact that he's very small). You need to keep doing "show, but don't tell". That's probably one of the most powerful things you've got going there, mate.

Excellent animation and smooth effects. My personal favorite part was when Larry was marked as he was knighted and blasted with a torrent of arrows. The blur effect and fire of the arrows was awesome. The slow motion was a bit wacky. It did not show the slow motion very clearly. Slow motion would be done in contrast with a large variety of moving things slowing down. We've only seen the king's face and voice slow down, and that's not very clear. What would be clear would be hands clapping and people cheering going from fast clapping to very slow clapping (yes and then show the king's face). And the wizard stopping the arrows, you could make an effect where the arrow slows down and there's a 3D 360 turn view of the wizard slowing the arrows down and blocking them.

The best part is the plot going in a very unique direction, breaking away from the traditional "powerful evil mastermind." Usually it's the mastermind who is confident in his power and underestimates the hero. Now we've got the mastermind who is not confident in his own power and wants to choose a crappy hero. So we've got a tiny, barbaric freak pitched up against a wanna-be villain (As long as he's not like Team Rocket in Pokemo, i'm okay) - that combination would probably make the most powerful comedy ever.

What I could suggest, however, is that the hero remains the underdog. Character development is very important - do not EVER make him turn powerful within one episode. I could not stress that enough - that's usually how many epic stories destroy themselves. Make him lose some fights to give him room for development. But remember - as the hero turns stronger, you must make the advisor stronger (even if he's only an idiot).

So we've discussed the hero, the villain - now about the trainer and the king. I find it odd that a magician is going to teach him the way of the sword. That's like asking a math teacher to teach english. So far, I enjoy his personality and his relationship with Larry, "Something tells me you'll do just...fine..."

Weapons define a character. I understand you're going for the traditional legend with a legendary sword. But might I suggest something more brutal? Everyone uses sword that it's getting old. Now a War Hammer to smash things for a little kid like that would be interesting, and would probably create some very hilariously brutal effects. *Wink*

And remember, in a plot, don't leave out loose ends. The marksmen failed. I understand the king is stupid, but he should know that something is at least amiss from the sudden burst of hostility and send men out to investigate. You need to clear that up on the next episode. I mean, you can't just let the bowmen just appear and disappearing from the rest of the episodes without a trace and without the king retaliating.

I also understand that you chose to parody the usual "son follows father's footstep" and make fun of it. But ugh... making out with his father's rotting severed head is absolutely disgusting. Don't do that again.

And you need more tits. Bring in some female characters. And a rival for Larry is essential. Possibly a female rival. Hilarious.

Score: 9

"Well, the fight battles were awesome as usual..."

submission: Super Mario bros Z ep.8

date: October 10, 2009

I enjoy your series as I would an anime series. I really do. The fight scenes are incredibly suspenseful, the combat moves were inventive, and you definitely show an incredible relationship between real DBZ characters and the ones you use.

For instance, we definitely know that Sonic/Mario is Goku, they're the strongest of the group of 5. Then we have Shadow, who is the lone wolf and arrogant, constantly angry Vegeta. Yoshi would be Piccolo, the green guy, and plus we have yoshi island, which is similar to the home of the Green men, Planet Namek, except you didn't make Yoshi as bad-ass as he did Piccolo. And hence (Yeah, I know - Luigi would be Krillin), my first complaint - the lack of focus on Yoshi. I hope you have prepared to keep a spotlight for yoshi, many people's favorite mario character. We want yoshi to have a background and a history, and yoshi's own unique special powers aside from the mario brothers and the hedgehogs. Because so far the only character who has not had a powered up form would be Yoshi.

I would suggest having half a series or more dedicated to something like say, the legend of the "Angel yoshi", where yoshi turns into a dragon. We've seen everyone power up with fire flowers, power stars, etc. Sonic, Mario, Shadow, and even luigi. Now it's Yoshi's turn. Give yoshi the spotlight.

Drama is essential in an anime series. Especially since your series is so ambitious, you need good drama. Now, there's a difference between a scene being dramatic (good) and a scene being cheesy (bad). For example, "Shadow" leaving the team. It's a bit cheesy. You didn't give Shadow enough development for us to really "miss" him, hence, making things a bit awkward. A good "team member leaving" scene, if you've read the manga series One Piece, would be when Usopp leaves the Straw hat Pirates. It was dramatic, because they argued over a large matter, with a calm before tension, and then the storm. There was no calm before the storm, so the anger came as a shock. In OP, however, he built the tension up slowly, and soon, we were on the edge of our feet.

What you could have done, for example, was have Shadow hint at leaving a few times, but calmed down every time, but each time with increasing difficulty. And soon, at the height of problems, he proposes to leave, except this time with true intent. Shadow would anger up, Sonic would not take him seriously, and Shadow would attack Sonic, which leaves Sonic shocked. And when Shadow seriously injures Sonic, Sonic would understand that Shadow is serious, and an epic fight ensues, with happy memories and flashbacks in between fights. That's how to build up drama.

That would also be killing three birds with one stone - you allowed a Shadow vs. Sonic face-off, you will allow war between team members, something that always happens in every good series, and you would also allow tears from our eyes when we see Shadow finally leave the team after so much history, so much tension, and so much blood.

So I'm not saying Shadow leaving the team is a bad idea, I just think it is way too rushed. And with such an incredible series, it's awkward to see cheese rather than drama. If you think you haven't done drama before, remember the destruction of Mobius? That was well done, because it was detailed and well-thought out. Put more thought into it.

And also, the 3D idea is wonderful, but because it's sprite, and your anime drawing of the gang, though good, is still underdeveloped. I'll let it slide this time because it's your first time testing that idea.

I thank you so much for releasing it less than 16 months since SMBZ 7. Procastination is not a thing that is easily forgiven, especially from a bit-shot artist like you.

Looking to see more from you, and soon, like this time.

Best wishes, and good luck!

Score: 10

"Damn!"

submission: Wilson Beard's Cannons

date: October 3, 2009

I'd like to order a cannon please! XD

Score: 9

"Damn it Prox, you always win Madness Day ==""

submission: Madness: Rising

date: October 2, 2009

Hmm, you've gone into abstract drawing, quite a change from your usual style. Still included the fast-paced action, I see and I noticed that you've changed from the focus of the clown to Hank this year. As you never include Jebus, the savior, that would be my guess for the next year you participate. If not, then include him. He's a big part of Madness, even if he's dead already. (Which, he might be brought back, or not, depending on krinkels).

You strayed a bit from the usual madness cycle by involving more melee and hand to hand combat than guns. Madness is all about guns, and I was surprised you only included a handgun. What happened to Ak47s and M16s? Shotguns? Revolvers? No story involved, either but then again, madness doesn't need a story.

The music was just as confusing, er awesome as the animation. I see you've involved some matrix ripof... er matrix inspiration as well as from some other movies.

And why is almost everyone about killing off Hank this Madness Day? He's just been brought back in the last Madness Combat. With an awesome side arm, too.

Score: 10

"Great game!"

submission: Toss the Turtle

date: August 21, 2009

My Record...OMFG

2,406,558.8 ft!!!
Used like... 20 nukes though.

No high score table? Damn it! XD

Score: 10

"Wow"

submission: Crotchless Chaps

date: August 5, 2009

Are you ready to take responsibility if crotchless pants actually became a real fashion???

Nice flash. I laughed my pants off.

Ew... that didn't sound right. LOL

Score: 9

"Hmm...."

submission: Nuclear Wasteland

date: July 30, 2009

It's a really well-made flash. I'm not complaining that this isn't realistic. It's supposed to be, since it's more fantasy, or rather science fiction.

However, might I recommend some suggestions? Mutation rate under normal circumstances is one every 10^6. If induced, it's more likely to be one in every 10^3 or 1000. A very powerful induction still makes it 1 in every 1000.

So even if you make the workers mutants, you can almost make a team of survivors. Let Jason find some team mates.

Let me tell you the advantages of doing this -

1. For one thing, you'll be doing what most people who do stick fights don't - you'll be making team battles. Most people just let one person massacre a lot of people, then meet some boss. But in real life, it doesn't work that way. Even the most powerful people will get injured if they face too many people, simply because of the increased contact, and thus increased possibility. You can have, say, Jason fighting too many, and out of carelessness, he gets scarred. And at the same time, he meets someone else struggling who is trying to get out. This story is about someone trying to escape, not someone trying to be the most powerful person in the world. So add some other people, let him have some help. Each person with their unique abilities.

2. With more people, you have add conversation. That will allow you a chance to explain the plot. It'll turn a simple escape flash into a powerful series that can date back all the way to how the nuclear meltdown started. And then afterwards what can be done about that. If you're just trying to let people escape, like in a zombie survival game, where a helicopter rescues you, well more survivors is better than one.

3. More people turns things more intense. And you have flexibility. If you grow tired of one character, you can kill the character off. Then you can add some tragedy and even more story and action.

4. With practically 6 people working on this, it'll allow people to develop their own characters rather than having to just compromise over 1 single character. 6 people with their own special character can be really awesome, too. That would be a collab. And then have the 6 people meet.

Music's a tad bit too loud. The action is just as loud, which is actually a good thing. What I most enjoyed was probably how you each employed mutants with different abilities. Reminded me a bit of X-men.

Good collab.

Hoping to see more then.

Laterz

Score: 9

"Hmm... ==""

submission: Bunnykill 4

date: July 15, 2009

The fight scenes were awesome - as you always amaze me with the martial art moves you come up with. The drawings have improved, especially the background, the setting transfers, and minions.

As always, you employed the level system, from the lowest minions to the better minions, to the elite minions, and one giant minion, then the boss of the place. I'm glad the elite minions (the red bunnies) at least put up a good fight instead of just one or two blocks and then die.

And of course, as always, I'm a fan of your soundtracks. They always make the best bg for whatever theme you chose for your BK series.

There were a few things that left me unsatisfied though:

1. The dragon shrine didn't have a dragon. Here I was, hoping you'd at least allow Flint to summon a dragon and ride/attack it. A summon or two would've been nice. I understood you'd like this to be mainly martial arts, but a few other small additions would be nice. Summons, elementals, transformations, even illusional moves. You had the shadow clones. Even teleports. So I'm sure you at least know Naruto. They have some really cool stuff and you could improvise with a few ideas without copying them completely.

2. When Snowball went supersaiy... I mean... super-ninja, I was hoping that Flint would have at least a super-form as well. The fight dragged on a bit, but it was an amazing drag. Snowball got his ass kicked, then saved by Ruby, then Ruby got her ass kicked, then Snowball got his ass kicked again, then he went super. Flint didn't have any super forms. All he had was that shadow clone, which had already been used. He could turn into a super form, then use shadow clone. And Snowball would awaken his sharingan.... yeah sharingan. I'm sure most super-ninjas don't have red eyes for nothing. He could see time in slow motion, or you could have flint and the ninjas move in slow motion while Snowball moved in normal or fast speed.

3. The shrine was intact! WTF? You could've at least blown the ceiling out into the sky so that they could fight in mid-air. No broken walls... no caved in grounds, no broken ceilings. Wow, with their power levels over 9000 each, how could the dragon shrine be so tough to stand their blows? I suppose you'll answer with "The Dragon Shrine is holy." Yeah okay. I'll accept that. FOR NOW.

4. Hmm... Ruby just popped in and disappeared just as quick. There was no background to her - not even a bubble with her village destroyed by Flint and she sought revenge. And you forgot the most important thing...

5. ... which is...You forgot an introduction. Why is Snowball killing the ninjas? In the previous volumes, you at least explained. In BK1, it was between two feuding gangs. In BK2, it was because of a crazy doc trying to destroy earth and Snowball's money. What of BK3? Money again? Or was it something more personal? If you wanted Snowball to challenge villages like a dojo, you could've at least said so.

6. .... The story was a bit predictable. BKI~4 followed the same pattern. I was wondering if you could've thrown in an element of surprise. Like say... Flint was the boss of this place, but after Flint was killed, there was actually another ninja, a stronger ninja controlling Flint and everything goes out of whack.

Well, if there's ninjas, there should be pirates. There's a slim chance, that BK 5 should be regarding pirates. It would be fun to have Snowball battle on the seas. I never saw him use revolvers or cannons. That should be fun.

Well, if you don't already know it, One Piece is the manga with the most awesome pirate themes.

Or if you want to make something else, surprise me. I'm your fan. I'm meant to be pleased and surprised. And If I like a flash artist well enough, I'll support you all the way.

Love your works, and hoping to see more from you. Everyone loves you. But of course you already know that.

Score: 8

"This is going to be tough to write..."

submission: Super Mario 63

date: June 26, 2009

I've done major reviews for games of tremendous effort, and needless to say, this game has caught my eye to be what may be the biggest sprite game in all of newgrounds.

I'd like to thank you for your hard work in this game. It was fun, original, and the art was simply amazing. I also enjoyed how you put the toads to life and parodied everything from spider-toad to politics and games. And WOW I could design my own levels! OMFG!!!

So it is extremely difficult for me to point out flaws for a game in which you poured so much of your heart and soul in.

However, I see your potential. I really think you could do a lot better, especially in parts I would mention below. So I would ask you to read without bias, as I am a major fan of this game and of you. So take your time to read the criticism below and if you'd like, you can discuss (or argue) with me. I'll be happy to talk anytime if you disagree.

Here goes:

1. The game was extremely fun at first, but it gets repetitive. Why? Because it's almost always hopping across platforms. I could simply divide the game into 3 major missions: Collecting stuff, mazes or platforms, and bosses. You're missing out so much on what Mario 64 had that you didn't. For instance, what happened to the koopa races? What happened to diving and catching that pesky bunny? You have a huge imagination. Use it. Think beyond just outside the box. Think 4th or 5th dimension. For instance, you can allow mario to ride in a spaceship and turn this into a cool shooting game. You could arm mario with fireballs. And most of all, you could allow access to yoshi, a feature I've always wanted for Mario 64.

2. The health problem is driving lots of people crazy, not just me. You need 5 coins instead of just the regular 1 to regain a hit point and the metal cap doesn't make you invincible. I mean, how many creatures can hurt a person made of solid steel? Speaking of creatures, I think we have a major population crisis of them. They are always placed at the most inconvenient of places as if you want to make us get hurt without thinking about it. At least in Mario 64, they warn you.

3. No offense intended, but the orb of power idea is so... uh... retarded. I don't know, probably because it has almost nothing to do with Mario. You've taken something of no relation to Mario and added it. It's like adding legs to snakes. It doesn't make sense. You could've at least called it the "dark sprite." Or something Mario. I was like... where did the Orb of Power come from?

4. There's too little bosses, and all of them too repetitive and easy. Bowser for instance. You toss him into spikes. Big deal. What would be awesome would be if you gave the last Bowser 3 forms. The first form you'd have to toss him into spikes for 3 times. Then he gains metal powers and he's immune to spikes, but there's a countdown time and he runs out of power and has to charge. You grab him then. And in the last form, it's a chase scene where you're riding yoshi and you hurl fireballs while he looks behind running away and fires at you. Something like that. Be more creative with the bosses. And also, I wanted to kick Kamek's ass. He's annoying. But you can't even touch him. What's with that?

5. You need a more detailed and well-layed out map to keep track of the game process. For instance, I know I'm missing the 3rd star coin in level 3 for instance. But WHERE in level 3? It gets confusing trying to keep track of the star coin or shine sprites that you missed.

6. You also need a much more solid plot. I mean, the plot where the bad guy kidnaps girl, the bad guy sets traps for good guys, the bad guys go berserk with power, and the good guy beats the bad guy, and then the good guy is trapped in a fire and then escape is used much too many times. Again, think outside the box. For instance, Bowser is controlled by the orb of... DARK SPRITE, and he loses control. But where is the source of the dark sprite? Now THAT would be cool.

Hope I didn't hurt your feelings too much. It's still a great game.

Hope to see more from you!

Score: 10

"uhhhhhhhhhhhh...."

submission: Its a Tank!

date: February 16, 2009

I really don't know what to say to that. Um... Disturbing and funny at the same time?