That was brilliant. Though I believe the jokes didn't hit as hard as the first three Messed Up Bible Stories, I still had a few laughs here and there as well as a couple of smiles. While I know this is about Bible stories (from your title, of course), I was wondering if you would include the actual life story of Jesus? I must admit, I am curious on how you would approach the whole crucifixion of Jesus subject, as it would be extremely controversial. Will you be able to pull that off, I wonder. o.O
I'm trying to do the stories in chronological order and the story of Jesus is something I want to do, but its light years away.
Wow, this literally blew my brains out! XD Shame it had to be Deimos. Why him and not Sanford or Hank?
because sanford and hank are alot better than him
Yes, I did drop the baby penguin. Both of them, the real and fake. It was hilarious.
I think, like some other people, you took too long to get to the punch line and stretched out the animation unnecessarily by using a bit of filler scenes. The animation was enjoyable, decent, but a tad bit sketchy that could be improved a bit. And the video did lose a bit of relevance as Super Mario 64 came out like 15 years ago and it feels like you're trying to flog a dead horse or revive a dead subject.
On the good side, it was a pretty good angle to do a joke. And the music and sounds were intact and were on que, so I guess I have to give you some credit. The animation was decent. And it was pretty nostalgic to see some animations about Mario.
And the dramatic effect of Mario getting revenge kind of made the joke less funny. It would probably have been funnier if Mario gave the mother back her baby and then immediately took it away from her with an XD face and then threw the penguin off the cliff. Then proceed to take the fake penguin and throw it off the cliff, too. And finally, Mario gets the star and does a happy dance.
Very original idea with lovely artwork. This short flash movie clearly shows to prove that fairy tales and horror stories are the two opposite sides of the same coin. If the good guy wins, it's a fairy tale with a happy ending. If the bad guy wins, it becomes a horror story that makes you drench yourself in cold sweat. And this movie is clearly of the latter.
While disturbing and grotesquely detailed in gore, perhaps excessively so (which of course also serves to exemplify your artistic skills in being able to draw them in such detail) it is not the movies that leave you disturbed and make you want to smash your fist on it or run away and hide, but rather the ones that you smile at and gently put aside or shrug off and forget easily that fail to deliver its theme. Therefore, this deserves praise in the sense of being able to elicit such a response in the audience to disturb it. A movie that is either loved or hated are the ones that one can say have succeeded.
The ending and building of tension is very well done as it complements the horror theme quite well. The jokes and attempts at humor are slighty corny, but perhaps they serve to let the dark theme and environment stand out even more.
If any suggestions can be made it is that for all the best novels, movies, etc, the most brilliant writers and directors always make a meaning to every character or item that appears and emphasize them. Everything that appears in the movie will reappear again and has a purpose. While I understand the that flash movies are not hour-long movies or full-length novels, there are parts I feel could have been done better. On the controller, I've read dominos, swarm of bees, trap door #7, mansion self-destruct, etc. They may be cameos or just references to other themes, but perhaps you could have made some appear again? Also, the purpose of the VHS-bot was unclear. Clearly, he was playing a reading of the Book of Ezekiel, but what was his purpose? Was it to warn or was it another reference? And who was the VHS-bot and what was he and why did he want to help if he did? With that, it would have opened a new window of ideas and opportunities. Perhaps the boy could attempt an escape (give us a bit of hope and then snatching it away when the Muffin Man wins anyway).
Another suggestion is the "show, but don't tell method." They are far more powerful than just tell, but not show. Using your movie for an example, which is more powerful? Telling us the muffin man eats children to maintain his health or showing it to us? Without the poem in the beginning, try flashing us a few pictures, hints of his laboratories, some machines. Some bones of children. Screams. And then replay the movie. And the child is kidnaped, dies and eaten in a muffin. Then perhaps you could show us the poem then, in the end, rather than at the beginning and then we finally understand what is going on. Don't you think that is a much more powerful way than just telling us the muffin man eats children in the form of muffins in the beginning?
So in summary, let every object or character have a purpose and emphasize it. Show, but don't tell.
4.5 stars for the originality and wonderfully fresh, while disturbing idea. The last 0.5 stars will be reserved for when you perfect everything. Everyone has room for improvement and those 0.5 stars will be given by me to the special few who can surpass themselves and constantly improve.
Recommendation for film: Viewer discretion advised. Keep away from children except during Halloween. And perhaps those that are too fat and you want him or her to lose weight. Or if you want to stop them from eating those muffins that keep disappearing.
Dang thanks for the giant review sir, I appreciate it!
I have bigger plans for Muffin Man, and I wanted this short to be a brief introduction to the characters and atmosphere so whoever watches asks the same questions you're asking. I didn't put anything in that doesn't have further purpose really. I never really enjoyed explaining things too much though, I like movies that let me fill in the gaps, so that's what I end up doing in my own stuff.
Thanks again, take care!
Based on how overworked the janitor is and how crappy he is treated, I would've thought he'd be the one going berserk and killing people (with a mop or broom). Maybe one day he'll be sick of it and go on worker's strike or something. That would be a pretty hilarious and embarrassing incident to the "organization".
You have a very amazing talent for show and not tell. It is the pinnacle of movie direction to be able to show us who they are without telling us and you actually pulled it off. I'm impressed. You got me highly engaged into your plot by peeling through the story line like an peeling an onion - teasing us layer by layer until you reach the core. And you made a badass heroine as the protagonist, which was definitely unique. And you introduced her not by telling her what she was, but by showing us via her piloting skills, interactions and conversations, and indirectly pointed out how important family is to her.
While introducing the characters and engaging us into the plot is by far your strongest and most valued trait that got me hooked, there are a slight few things you could polish.
1. The plot in itself is quite incomplete, unless of course you plan on making it into a series. So the gist is that there's a mercenary who is trying to rescue her buddies and flashes a "Solid Snake" attitude. She is on a small vessel that gets attacked by a massive ship controlled by the Evil Shy Guy Generals. While you're good at engaging us and you're very good with camera angles, the plot in itself is very shallow and undeveloped. Protagonist on mission. She gets attacked. Evil general plots to destroy world (er... mushroom kingdom). She and a group of friends work to foil it. They win. Happy Ending. The end. WOW BEST PLOT EVER! Well, okay, maybe I'm being a bit too harsh, but I do have a few pointers.
*Twists. I point this out to a lot people actually, and rarely do people take my advice, but the ones who actually do have made drastic improvements (read my reviews). For example, when you are brainstorming ideas for the plot, if it pops into your head and you're impulsed to use it, don't. It's probably been done because it's obvious. Instead, think of something outrageous that most people won't have thought of. For example, watch Larry 2, he slaps his dog with the sword and tries to get it moving, but accidentally chopped his dog's leg off. Not only was it outrageous, it was outrageous enough to make us laugh at animal cruelty AND surprise us at the same time. Another example is the Castle Series on newgrounds, especially Castle C and beyond. He killed off the main character immediately, and then showed us he's not necessarily dead. He makes the characters instead of black or white a hint of grey. And the soldiers are not cannon fodders like you make yours to be. They are elitely trained. They fight back. They know how to survive in the wild on their own.
In your case, engage a few surprise elements and hide some things away from us. Let the series start out light, and then start killing off a few characters. Or do stuff no one expects. Let the protagonist not be overly dominant. Let them ALWAYS be the underdog and the bad guys should always win 2 times out of 3 at LEAST. Or else it's the cheesy good guy kicks bad guys ass with bad guys as cannon fodders. Watch Mega man vs Quick Man for how it should be done. They should be beat up, chewed up, and near dead before landing a solid, decisive blow against the bad guys.
And let the characters be a bit more unpredictable. Make unlikely alliances from enemies, and let there be betrayal, but never tell us who. What would have given me much more respect for the series is if you let the captured shy guy be loyal to the general and say he'd rather die than betray him and the mercenary doesn't kill him out of respect because of his loyalty.
Another surprise could be to use the evil General who is supposed to be the main bad guy only as a distraction. Unveil another bad guy, a much more evil and competent one. And the sugar on top could be that the bad guy is originally one of the good guys and you never expected his or her betrayal. And good guys become bad guys. Bad guys suddenly don't seem so evil and they have a change of heart. Reveal the pasts and motivations of each characters piece by piece. You're good at that.
I look forward to your next episode! If not, I'll petition for one!
Thanks for the great review. That's why I make these things is to gain a certain amount of quality feedback and improve myself in general. These flashes for me are always stepping stones, so thanks for the plot cross examination and I really enjoy reading it. I think for this episode, I was enjoying a somewhat objective straight forwardness, but twists and turns are something I would like to improve on in the future. The sequel (whether or not I make it) would be a lot darker, and it is funny that you mentioned killing a few characters off. I do notice though that some twists just seem predictable after awhile and a bit cliche'd. Not all are bad though. I can tell you that the hypothetical sequel at this point would talk greatly about back story, unraveling painful memories, like of her father (I alluded to with a pic in the bios) relationship with Bazz, and how the General Guy would try to exploit those things to defeat her otherwise impervious dog-fighting skills- which I agree with you should stand a test too.
At this point like you said, I have a lot of places I could go with it, although if I did it would be entirely animated not sprited, which would take a lot longer. I don't plan to start right away, and I can tell you a part of me wants too, and reviews like this are huge encouragement to my work; though in all honesty I am leaning more towards my originals, which I hope you will review as well when the time comes. :)
This is very original, in terms of stick series. I like how you incorporated comedy with action into this series and took a very unique turn that very few others have done on newgrounds. That being said, I can't help but wonder if Kung Fu Panda or Karate Kid gave you any inspiration. Oh well. Most newgrounds movies are created upon inspiration of another work, and those works by previous works and so forth. I'd guess Kung Fu Panda as Po's so-called "fat" and "soft" style corresponds to this stick's "fart" style. But again as it's pure speculation, I can't be sure, so that's why I'm asking.
So we all know that his finishing move is the so-called "fart". Element-wise it is technically air. It can also be applied as biochemical weapon, which fits the "weapons" category. And Being able to emit a large amount of toxins and store a large amount of metabolized gas as well as release is in a deadly form is an ability of sorts. Which is fun in terms of comedy. Definitely original.
What I think you could improve on:
Well, for the first thing, I would hire voice actors. Voices can definitely add a lot to the dramatic effects and could jerk us awake when we're bored. And there are times in the videos when we do get bored.
For example, although your series did take a unique turn, it does what every cartoon on television, parody: make a dramatic badass entrance for the protagonist and then muck it up by making him fail at every trial. It's gimmicky. It's corny. It's overly played. It's been done over and over and over that when I saw the trials, I KNEW it was going to be him failing at every single one and yes, I knew it was going to be a fart as I can related it to a previous episode. If you can predict it, it's BORING and you should take some twists.
For example, the "Larry" series could be looked at if you haven't already. Although there are a lot of gimmicky references and recurrences that do make me sick, there are parts that are hilarious, like in episode 2 where Larry slaps his dog with a stick and accidentally chops his foot off and he runs to stimulation of alcohol. THAT is unique. Because I did NOT predict that and even if I did have a feeling, it still made me laugh so hard. Your series 4 did not, really. I predicted what was going to happen in every scene. So I suggest you can add some twists, something no one can predict. Even one per episode could be good.
Your silly facial expressions is a good twist. That's a start. Which is why I actually think voice acting could help to the comedic effects. You could make some more good work on that.
You can also add humor to the "epic/strong" characters like Red and Pink. Let them have silly habits. Let them have secrets or something silly that no one could predict. You could take a turn at poking fun at them. Let them mess up, too when you expect them to win.
So in essence, make the series more unpredictable. That's the good and bad of the series in a single sentence - it is original in theory and unique, but has too many overplayed elements. Add some more twists. Whenever you create a new scene, ask yourself, "Is the audience going to predict that?" And if you watch it and think you know what's going to happen even if you're the artist, throw it out and rewrite.
All epic series eventually fall because of they run of out ideas. Keep the series fresh with new twists and angles and throw things in our direction that completely blow our mind. If you think of immediately, it most likely has been done a million times. And when you think even more outside of the box, and give your next episode that element of twist beyond the normal twist, I can safely say then I'll give you the full 5 stars.
Best of luck and wishes! Looking forward to the next Stickman Can't Fight episode.
awesome review! have you seen the next episode? i think i covered some of the things that you wrote about. this series is growing with each new episode, and so am i. so i really enjoy detailed reviews like this one that tell me what other people see in my work. so thank you very much! :D
Not as epic as the first, but still entertaining
Then again, it is rare for a sequel to surpass its original, excluding masterpieces like Godfather 2, Terminator 2, Toy Story 2 & 3, etc so I shouldn't be too hard on you. However, sometimes it's because the director doesn't know what to do or doesn't know how to improve on it. On your end, however, you do, you're just lazy and rushed it. No offense, haha - I'm lazy, too.
For example in the first one, you included much more wit and thought into each sentence and word.
All flashes have a focus. Some are focused on story. Some are focused on artwork and animation. Some are focused on the sound and music. And some are focused on making us fall off our chairs laughing and break our skulls. And some are to educate... which is not really suited for newgrounds, mostly whom are people still in middle, high school, or college and are sick of school and want to see something to make them laugh or otherwise drive their thoughts away from the realistic, hard world and escape for a while. But regardless of whether your flash is used to impress us with artistic or musical talent, make us laugh, or tell a story, we can all agree on one thin - all flashes submitted are meant to entertain us.
That is where you failed.
The first movie kept us laughing on ends while keeping the educational context alive. It was 50% humor, 50% education. In this video, you overwhelmed us with educational concepts while keeping humor so minimal that I never laughed and only occasionally brought upon a smile. It was near 80% education and 20% humor, most of which is stale and dry.
I mean come on, with combination of chinese words, and I being Taiwanese myself, there is so much endless potential in combining words into phrases that are so exaggeratedly crazy and makes no worldly sense to the point that it will make us laugh until we fall off our chair and burst our stomachs, causing our entrails and all that gory stuff to come out and we will still be laughing. And seeing from your multitude of works and masterpieces, you're still capable of thinking of those crazy things. You're still in your prime. You're just lazy and didn't bother to think of it. You rushed it and hurried it and sent it in just to get it over with.
And like your English (Chinese) teacher who read your rushed essay and knows you are capable of much more and yet you only showed this much in your essay, I can only give you a B- instead of the A you should have gotten.
Yeah, not nearly as entertaining, I know. Like I said, I just didn't want stagnate any longer on this one. Thanks for the thorough review.
It's been a while since Tome, Kirb
It was just a day like no other - I got home from medical school and exams are in 2 weeks and I was procrastinating, er... studying while browsing youtube and newground shorts and stumbled upon something that sent me several years back in nostalgia - the TOME series, better known here as TTA, you have made when you were but a young sprout trying to make his way into the big leagues.
As always, the first episodes may have been a little bumpy because you were still experimenting with sprites, synchronization, and overall quality of story and character development. Added to the fact that flame girl's annoying voice and overusage of the effects that caused seizures and sent multiple viewers to the hospital complaining of epilepsy, the series had hit many road bumps along the way. Then, the storyline developed, with amazing character development, action, moves, more character development, and plot twists that I'm sure many would agree can rival some of the top notch anime series, namely DBZ, the series I'm sure "inspired" you as many flash movies these days are inspired by original works that were inspired by other original works.
After months and years of TTA development, sadly, the TTA chronicles came to an end and with tears, feud, bloodshed over wartorn fans that fought to the last breath to try to reignite the dying fires that was the hope that TTA may continue, the candles died out one by one until we accepted the fact that TTA was over, and you were never coming back to it.
Fortunately you had other series that kept us occupied with your new Parody Rangers Series that went in a different direction with your original work, but skyrocketed you to sky-dom. Other works including the NiN10Doh! series and other one-off parody further boosted your status and fame from top tier of newgrounds to "God" tier of newgrounds, one that few can boast.
And then today, I stumbled upon your remake of the TOME series and while I did everything I could to hold back my tears of nostalgia, my curiosity overpowered those sentimental feelings and I proceeded to click play after 10 minutes of loading the abnormally large file, which further proves you within the "God" tier as very few can boast the privilege to upload files the size of 23.5 MB and get away with it.
I watched the episode with mixed feelings. The feeling of familiarity came up, along with all the combined efforts of sound effects, production, story, additional art, and outstanding voice-acting. It was a good feeling of familiarity - like watching an episode of Friends, except in more modern times and with better visual effects and taking it even further and I had to show my appreciation and my crazy fan-boy story-telling/ranting ability to you for all the efforts of you and your team to bring back something that was already down in history and send it years into the future into something that will never be forgotten.
The characters sent another wave of nostalgia - with Kirbopher always getting his ass handed to him until *spoiler alert* he gets the 0...1... combo hacked in half and actually becomes a bad-ass character instead of just another comedian.
And it makes me wonder if you will put in more character development into Kirb and give him more badass moves as he's always been my favorite character. It also makes me wonder if flamegirl can be anything more than a useless character with no significant role other than romance purposes (oh come on, anyone can see that with alpha right from the beginning) and have as much character development and spotlight as the other "alpha" males. And it makes me wonder if you will ever make Alpha less obnoxious and not so overly dominant and allow other characters to save the day for once instead of just him, like the annoying trend in DBZ where you put in new strong characters and trash all the old characters except Goku, the main character.
But even still, I cannot begin to describe your genius in masterfully blending art, sound, and story into the perfect work that will be marveled and remembered for centuries to come.
Again...5 for the animation
Nothing wrong with the animation of course. As usual, I give it a full score. And there's nothing wrong with making fun of generic anime or video games based on anime (or the other way around) that have gotten out of control that it's harder not to make fun of them or not. And poking fun The humor's great.
What I can't give the other 5 points for is the controversial topic you chose to poke fun at (yes I know... you're thinking, "Oh wow... really?" while rolling your eyes at the several hundredth comment that was made about this). You certainly had the balls to delve into that area and express your opinion. I'll give you that. So I'll express mine. While I understand that it's not intended to be that way, the end results, intentional or unintentional, are that it makes people extremely uncomfortable, especially people associated with the disease. It's kind of like the difference between intentionally shooting a gun at someone or accidentally shooting someone. The end result is still they get seriously injured or die. Same with this.
Perhaps it's because I'm a learning doctor and I see people with terminal illnesses all the time like cystic fibrosis, end stage renal failure, etc that I'm more sensitive to this issue. I've talked with them, held their hands, and stayed with them until their body gave it. I've had to deliver the bad news to their parents on many occasions. Thus, while I do appreciate and chuckle at the dark humor that makes up 95% of newgrounds - of course I do, I've been on newgrounds for since I was in high school and now I'm in medical school, there's something called taking things too far and you need to learn when to draw the line. Especially when you know that you're going to really hurt some of the audience.
Gore, violence, dark satire, making fun of things many people like or dislike - fine. That's newgrounds. Dark satire, violence, sex is what makes it up. Without which newgrounds would not exist. I'm fine with that. Religion, race, and sensitive issues I believe should be tread on careful ground.
Just posting my two cents.
listen...this hit too close to home for you so you justifiably are annoyed by it. That's fine.
...But nothing should be too taboo for humor's sake. Many people are offended by topics you aren't offended by and vice versa. You're welcome to your opinion but just realize this is how it is.
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